A Piece of Random

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This one probably looks a bit weird. And aye, that it is. This is just a random picture I drew of my cast from my story called Labyrinths and Lizards. Yes, its a play on Dungeons and Dragons. The story itself was a random, zany little deal set in fantasy world; this picture, obviously, set in modern times if they were a band, hahaha. L&L was a new thing for me for several reasons. First off, it took place in a different world than the rest of my stories. All my other pieces have taken place within the same world, just in different time periods. L&L was on it's own world, though it DID have cameos of just about all my favorite characters. This story was a great one because, as I found I enjoy, most of my characters were very powerful. Either in the beginning or over time, they had reached a point, a "hero" status, where people knew them by sight. The cast of L&L was new for me because they were the underdogs. They were technically 'level 3' from the beginning of the story to the end. Imagine a big epic fight with nothing but tiny soldiers to fight against? That was the idea I was shooting for here. Rather than a huge epic save the world battle, it was several characters struggling to survive in the starter zone.

And now, for the cast. Starting clockwise from the top left:

The money grubbing 'manager' of the band, was a red-cloak wearing kleptomaniac named Aurelia. If it wasn't nailed down, Aurelia could steal it. Funny due to the good-aligned Paladin in the group, Aurelia always boasted if he didn't see it, it shouldn't count against his alignment. She has purple hair, and like I mentioned before, a bright red cloak. Odd garb for a rogue / thief, wouldn't you say?

The guy banging on the drums is Marig the Lion Man. Lion Man set forth from his village with an epic tale to look for a relic that would save his people. Unfortunately, he has a weakness for the nectar of the Mountain Dew Berry (sound familiar?) After a drunken spectacle of biblical proportions, Lion Man forgot what his quest was and wandered aimlessly until he met the crew of L&L. A beast of a warrior, Lion Man is armed with a giant axe, a leather vest and a big black kilt. Don't call it a dress; he's killed lesser people for saying so. Lion Man is a shaman by nature, albeit a violent one.

On the spin-tables is a character I owe credit to my buddy Mike Marchant, as he aided haevily in her creation. Her name is Sharla, a beautiful, blonde High Elven bard. Her songs are melodious and her Lore knowledge are practically unmatched, but one thing really sticks out about Sharla- her lack of battle prowess. More than willing to heal, Sharla prefers to leave the fighting to her comrades, sticking to songs and her favorite spell of all time: Magic Missle.

The dwarf up front with the axe(!) would be Gamlek McKillumthings, no relation to Surly McKillenthings. A pilot that was exiled from his dwarven kingdom for his many.. Er... 'colorful' inventions, Gamlek began selling his services as a taxi cab, ferrying people to and fro in his Dirigible. One day, a motley little crew hired him for a flight when they got shot down, forcing Gamlek to accompany them until he acquired the funds to repair his beloved air-boat. Gamlek adds not only force to the fight, but humor as well. Most of his battle tactics revolve around his Dwarven Blunderbuss, plus many bombs and trinkets, including explosive-sheep. He wields a mean axe, but prefers range.

The singer on the right, the one screaming into the mic, would be the Bloodkin Elf Sho'Ryu. Sho'Ryu is another of my favorite characters of all time, falling short of Ruun in number of his appearances. Sho has appeared in many of my writings, most often as a humorous, womanizing sorcerer, which you may find odd for an Elf. He hits on just about anything female, including an Ogress one time. His skills vary depending on what story he's in; in this one, he's just a level 3 sorcerer with a loudmouth Bat for a familiar named Vikktor. The group hates Vikktor as his level of obnoxiousness is unmatched, and Sho'Ryu often uses Vikktor as leverage to get what he wants, or to make a point. Sho can be smart when he wants to, and has the ability to identify most spells he sees, whether he can cast them or not.

The other vocalist on the left there with the cross around his neck would be Dante. Dante hasn't had many roles in my stories, but I love him to death because in this work, while the whole group is spastic and funny, Dante can often be found thinking and pondering seriously. That doesn't sound like me, does it? Well, the story takes place on Dante's shoulder; he's basically the narrator. The cool thing about the story is all the subtle details that Dante notices and the things he does. In fact, by the end of the story, many people would look at what Dante did and go "Whoa! All along he was doing something meaningful!" It comes as a surprise to most people, but that was my idea. Serious-faced, but deadly in battle, the Paladin Dante sports a mean long-sword, a range of Divine-based spells and a reforged steel shield he received from his days of youth... from an enigmatic young female that is no longer around. She lives on in Dante's memory, protecting him from harm through her shield he bears.

Lastly, on the left there, wielding a giant guitar, and, in battle, an even bigger Battle-axe: the barbarian Spikes. Spikes fits the typical Barbarian berzerker status: Huge orc that isn't too pretty, but he's strong as hell. Strangely, he has a certain fear of all things cute and fuzzy, as well as spiders. If the target is not one of those three things, Spikes will kill it. It doesn't matter what level it is. Sho and Aurelia have a bad habit of using Spikes to set off traps when they can't figure out how to disarm it, then resurrecting the Orc when the trap kills him. Spikes doesn't mind, after all, he found a use outside of combat, but it irritates Dante when they do it. Spikes shows intelligence from time to time, and found himself the bearer of a great magical artifact in the story. Lucky for him!

Not picture, because I think I forgot to add him, either that or I couldn't find a spot for him, would be the elven Ranger Jenos. Jenos, like Lion Man, set out from the Elven kingdom with an errand to accomplish, until Dante pointed out that Jenos' quest was impossible, and that the elves were just trying to get rid of Jenos. Saddened, Jenos joined Dante and crew on their quest. He just has one real problem: his eyes were cursed in ages past by a sorcerer. A near-sighted Elven RANGER? That just screams hilarity, doesn't it?! Jenos has a natural leadership flair, though, and keeps the group together when certain events rear and things get rough.

8 little adventurers out trying to stop a mad evil at level 3? Yup, they're insane. That's Labyrinths and Lizards :D The first story I've written that's more focused on comedy than drama or, for that matter, plot. The plot just kinda seems to happen while the characters are bickering, and then someone goes: "Hey look. Plot happened!"

Ascension - A peek into the mind of a Flake

You.

Yes, you.

Come here for a moment.

Tell me, do you believe in Fate? No, of course not. I mean who does these days? How about God? Does the thought of the Almighty frighten you, or is it the possibility of higher life? I'd attest to you my friend, watch thine ass. Why would I surmise these words to you, well.... It's quite simple really. I am certain of higher life. Oh?

Because I've seen it.

Sit down, friend, I'm going to share with you a tale. Nay, a story about something that you may not believe. I've shared this with many people in the world today, and some have said what I will tell you is impossible. Some have called me crazy. Others have said I do cocaine. But what these philistines do not understand is the utmost seriousness of my story. One thing that I will tell you right now, is that everything I am going to tell you is true.

Years ago, in a college much like the one down the street from your house, there existed a group of young crazy men. Sounds a bit too familiar, right? There occurred within this group peculiar rituals, some of which include watching cartoons til the dead hours of the night, or traveling to Arby’s to separate foil from the plastic. There was a man named Jake, and a man named James. The two of them partook of a ritual practiced by many in this day and age, the art that is Caffeine consumption. Most people, bah, 2 or 3 drinks and they act silly. They know when to stop, for they have self-control! Plus they are wussies. For is it not man's indomitable spirit to abuse his body as much as possible while trying to maintain his sanity?

I say unto you, sanity is overrated.

Jake and James believed this to be so, and consumed many a day caffeinated beverages, enjoying the sugary rush that comes with it. One night, there occurred a consumption too many, and the two men were overcome with a vision, no, AN ENTITY! Of biblical proportions. Transfixed, there, before their VERY eyes, behold! A great beast of untapped power! It was a man! No, it was a Lion Man, a large two legged beast wearing a kilt and carrying a great ax. And his words could be heard, echoing throughout the room in a magnificent clarity, threatening to execute the two men if they ever spoke of his presence.

This of course forced the words "wtf" from Jake and James, as this ordeal made abso-f*ggin-lutely no sense.

This being, Jake was convinced, was a Higher Life Form! And if consuming abhorrent amounts of caffeine would allow one to see the entity, perhaps drinking even MORE of it would allow them to join that dimension of existence!

Jake and James thus began their long and ardorous journey to find that caffeined Nirvana, that dimension of reality where your blood was replaced with sugar and unadultered energy source was at your every whim and desire.

They met with failure, time after time. Consuming such amounts of liquid was hard on their minds and even harder on their bladders, but they did not give up. Many people called them fools. But this, only fueled the desire, nay, the NEED to find this.

I speak of these wills as much as they were my own... Because they were. Yes my friend. I am Jake. I am he who sought the impossible, he who craved what cannot be touched, who chugged that which should not be chugged. I did not give up in my conquest for that unholy state of mind, a condition that, one dark night...

I found.

It was a Friday night. A bright full moon adorned the sky as the werewolves hunted their prey. Most people were out having a social life, but not I. Some friends and I had gathered around in someones room to have a few drinks and play a few games. It started out as innocent fun, until someone suggested a drinking game. Crash Team Racing... Mario Kart... Halo... All these mad multi-player mayhem matches separated the men from the boys, the strong from the weak, the insanely idiotic from the self-controlled.

Drink after drink went down. A few passed out from their sugary inebriation. Others were smart and called it quits and went home. James and I were determined to reach our goal, and had been consuming mountain dews, rockstars, Surge's, and other such caffeinated cups of purity throughout the night. As the night waxed old, James did pass out under the pressure of his bladder and called it quits, but I; I continued! I perservered! Something in me kept pushing those cans up, drinking, growing, reaching, stretching, chugging more and more as can after can hit the floor! The sugary liquid burned its way down my throat as my attention span grew shorter and shorter and my bladder grew fatter and fatter, but the drinks, they kept going! The strength kept coming, until, at one moment, my feet buckled, my legs, they refused to work as a darkness tried to overtake me, I fell! I tried to fight away the black tentacles, the overwhelming madness that threatened to harvest my soul and cast me off into Oblivion! ...

Until...

I opened my eyes, and found the strength to stand. I looked around for a moment... I peeked out the window... I watched a car drive by, a person walking down the street, a bird defecating in mid-flight... All in perfect slow motion. Their movements were like liquid poetry. And then I knew...

I had reached the state of Pure Caffeination.

I left the room and walked the roads of the world, taking in all. My emotions, my instincts, the sights, the sounds were all being fed directly into my brain. And for once, one beautiful sweet moment, the entire world made sense! I knew all!

I knew and understood the dichotomy of good and evil.

I knew why up was up and down was down.

I understood women.

I understood the atomic theory.

I understood why people feel the need to drive stupidly fast everywhere they go.

I understood why dogs chased cats.

Why cats chased birds.

Why birds crap on windshields.

Why people who hate RP servers are such hypocritical morons.

Why the Irish enjoy drinking themselves to death.

Why history repeats.

Why everyone of every color is racist and too uptight to notice.

Why emo-ness seems to take over people when life is so good to them.

How our minds work, how our bodies work.

Why green means go and red means stop.

Why people tell you to hold it in in public.

Why there is Braille on drive-thru ATMs.

Why Thom hates bikers.

I KNEW EVERYTHING.

The world in all it's mysterious and wonders and confusions and all the whys and the when's and the where's, I understood them all! I had achieved what no one believed I could. I had reached the next realm of existence...

Unfortunately it didn't last long as I woke up at my friend David's apartment on his couch with no pants on and he, nor his roommates unable to explain how I had gotten in.

You think I’m joking, but I’m not.

Nevertheless, though I am unable to ascertain as to how my drunken stupor lead me into my friend's place, and though I did overhear a while later something about a broken window, the moments of my ascension into that caffeinated Nirvana are embedded in my memory forever. I will never forget those moments of crystal clarity, as I knew my existence and all my dealings up to that point had been for naught.

And now, I must bid you adieu.

Hmm?

What is the meaning of Life, you ask?

Well... Let me just say this:

Live your life with no regrets, always smile, and have faith. Faith in whatever you believe, and maybe, when the day comes that we meet again, you can tell me.

Weekly Comic 2

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'This is what happens when Flake tries to be avant-garde'

Moving is finally over and done. I'm sick of it, frankly. This makes the 19th time I've moved in my life, maybe. I lost count a few years ago. Thanks for everyone who helped us move and gave us free meals.

Weekly Comic

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"Artists - their own worst enemies"

Anyone who disagrees with me on this should be shot... And is a communist.

Random Sketch

Figuring this is one of my favorite characters I've ever created, I figure it'd only be justice to give her the limelight for the first character sketch thingie. So here goes:

Name: Ruun Del'Cyrious
Female Human Fencer
approx. 21 years of age.

Ruun is a versatile character, such that I've used and reused her again and again in different stories. She has a spot, major or minor, in just about everything I've written. Her most prominent role is in a story called 'The Torn Crimson Banner'. At 16, was sold into slavery (sadness) and was on her way to a brothel (yikes) when an enigmatic and freshly graduated Alystare Myskell (more on him in the future) rescued her. He was actually being paid to "protect the merchandise" until he found out the merch was a live shipment. He set her free, gave her some gold and told her to seek a lifestyle that she chose. The problem here was Ruun was uneducated and the cliche'd example of a character who's naivety outshines all else. Still, Ruun sought to carve a life for herself. She made do studying and eventually becoming a Paladin, a holy knight. Three years later, she met up with Alystare again after his near-death accident and sudden interest with peace between the warring factions. They ranked among a mercenaries guild, who, at first sought jobs for cash, and eventually joined up with the Imperial army and sought to end the war through force. Alystare left the army, much to Ruun's chagrin, and began his epic struggle to unite all the races that existed in the land, a notion he went into the history books for.

Then came the fated day: forces from each of the warring factions gathered together at the ruins of an Ancient Castle to negotiate peace talks. It was then that the conniving minds of the Dai'Tzan (more on them later, all ya need to know is they are BAD) struck, sealing the ruins off from the outside armies. Every man, woman, creature, Kiiathun Orc, TarJeuh, Felojin, Shadow Elf, etc etc was trapped, and brutally murdered by the undead essence the Dai'Tzan raised against them. This was the famous battle that Alystare Miskell vanished at, striking a blow to the peace talks. This is also where Ruun's character took a hit; caught up in the mobs of undead, Ruun came face to face with one of the most Powerful Dai'Tzan, a giant Minotaur named Kragus Zuol. In the fight, Ruun's sword-arm was bitten off (hence why she's missing her left arm in the above picture), but she managed to still strike Kragus down by picking up his own cursed blade and killing him with it. However, laying hands on a such an evil weapon twisted Ruun's mind and soul, and her Holy Diety fled from her. Without her God, Ruun began to despair and called her faith into question, and was finally shattered when the battle was over. She was the only survivor of the Battle of Bael Gar.

Clerics and Priests could sense the darkness in the sword Ruun held, which was literally chained to her arm and was as much a part of her as her flesh as anything. The blade, and the curse of Kragus living inside her, would kill her if ever removed. Of course, the Church valued the destruction of Kragus, sadly, decided to sacrifice Ruun's life along with him. This conflict of right vs. wrong drove Ruun made and forced her to flee for her life into the wilderness, where she lived with a dear friend, the Troll Shaman named Glorte, for the next year.

This year gave rise to the fabled hero Decimus Sparda, who deserves the spotlight to tell his story as it would take too long to write here. Ruun stayed out of sight of anyone until a chance encounter upon a small town that was being destroyed by what people had thought was a demon. It turns out that it was a reincarnated Alystare, Ruun's old friend and interest (there was a love story there, but I chose not to touch on it) Alystare was under the Dai'Tzan's control, used as a weapon to destroy the forces of Good while the Dai'Tzan sought to unlock the power of the World Trees, the great locks that separated the Abyss from the living world. Many events later, Ruun joined Decimus and, uniting with the Elves and the Kiiathun, struck back at the Dai'Tzan's undead armies. Decimus challenged Alystare to a fight, a fight that he slowly began to lose until Ruun stepped in. Neither Alystare nor Decimus even saw Ruun as she charged into the fight, moving in between their blades. She was killed by Alystare, a notion that broke through to his human side and eventually snapped the Dai'Tzan's hold on him. It was very tragic. With Ruun's blood spilled, Kragus was brought back to life only to get killed again minutes later by a tearful and distraught Alystare.

Ruun's life wasn't a happy one, but she perservered through it anyway, a character trademark I enjoy even though she wasn't very smart, and, for a while, physically handicapped. Another story I wrote, called "When the Hammer Falls" occurred in the SAME world as the above story, only hundreds of years later, starring the same bad guy Dai'Tzan peoples. A 'Ruune' shows up there too, I realized, and I spun her off as a descendant of the Ruun from the Crimson Banner story. Given that the original Ruun never married nor produced a family, and was a slave for her youth, I'll leave it at that as a mystery for how her bloodline continued.

Ruun also has a very heavy role in my novel, "A Redemption Through Blood," except happier. She has both arms, a better outlook and attitude on life. This story takes place in a completely different world than the other two stories, though, it should be noted.

So there ya have it. I really enjoy writing Ruun, she was the first female character I really felt for, and one I've related with for years.

Thought.

"But us soldiers? People want you do to everything. Every time someone thieves someone else’s gold, or some Dark Priests rituallistically light up the night sky, or a rival nation’s army marches on the kingdom next door, soldiers are pleaded to and cried for to do something about it! Where were YOU then, eh?! Soldiers of any rank swear fealty to any kingdom, to serve and to protect and yet were are ridiculed when we can’t make everything better! We were HUMAN, dammit! We had limits! Don’t you stand there and question me about my morals, you hypocrite. Even as the ‘Grand Crusader’ everyone made me out to be, even with a formation of men riding at my back, we couldn’t do everything. We couldn’t save Juine Harbor from burning. We couldn’t rescue all the citizens who were slaughtered. And then everyone blamed us for it! They actually pinned the destruction of the harbor under MY name! We were doing our duty and by our own Gods-be-damned mortality, we had to report our failure. There are a lot of wicked people in this world and evil things that are happening every day and sometimes, we just have to accept the limitations that we cannot do everything."

Arcanas Mikk'Amn
Former Grand Crusader
Bladehaven Unit III
"The Reckoning" chapter 2